


Cruel To be Kind

by Gigi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BDSM, Birthday Spanking, Dom/sub, M/M, Submission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-04
Updated: 2011-11-04
Packaged: 2017-10-25 16:37:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi/pseuds/Gigi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius remembers how his lover first took him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cruel To be Kind

Knees ached, back sore, neck tired and bent as he knelt upon the hard stone floor of the castle. He knelt there waiting for his lover, waiting for his Master, he knew far better than to move, than to whimper. No, he knelt there quiet, his hands placed behind his back, his head tilted down and his knees apart. Fight as he may, he tries to keep his eyes down upon the floor, but that meant looking at the stiff male part of himself. That meant watching the per-come slowly slip out of the head.

He was like this for the past hour Remus was late. Remus was never late, there had to be a reason for this, self hating lies moved into his head, self telling lies that were in there for such a long time just brewing streamed into his mind, almost like a Dementor’s hiss. His knees ached and his heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. Worse of all he had been hard for sometime, as he had to be hard for Remus when he it was time for their play, he had to be ready.

His Remus, his pack-leader had ordered this, so as the room grew colder, as the ache in him burned, his fingers twitched, he just wanted to take it in his hand and come. But that wasn’t just the only problem. He had to stay hard. And he was not allowed to touch himself. When they first started their games; Sirius had such a hard time following the rules, that it made Remus angry with him, but also in some cases it also made the wolf jealous. Sirius was a flirt by his very nature, even with his own godson, he couldn’t help it nor did he see it until his Master’s kindness had brought it to his own eyes.

\-----

"You’re watching him again, Sirius."

"What?" Remus’ voice filled the dog’s ears, but it didn’t sound like the soft gentle sweet voice of his best friend, it almost sounded like there was some hidden anger, "Watching who, Remus?"

Turning to face the wolf he noted a cold glare in his friend’s eyes, he had only seen twice before, once right after what happened with Snape and the other just a few months ago when Remus thought he was the one who had killed Lily and James Potter.

"You’re watching Harry again with those hungry eyes," he didn’t want to be un-kind, he didn’t want to force his friend to see this, but Remus knew he had to do something before Harry noticed it as well, Harry did not need his own Godfather lusting after him. He also knew that it normally didn’t take Sirius long to act on his basic feelings. That could lead to so many things that Remus did not want to face.

"What am I going to do with you, Sirius…" Angry flamed in Sirius for a moment, "I am not looking at Harry with ‘hungry eyes’." He tired to think then of how Remus would pick that up; Remus was not a liar no that was Snape’s job. Was he lusting after his own Godson? He wouldn’t do that? Would he? Letting his glaze fall out the window again, he traced Harry’s small form.

Yes, he had said many things last night that made the boy blush, that made him look away. But he was only being kind right? Remus pressed his form to Sirius from behind, garbing the dog’s face. Holding it there, "You are watching the boy, you are lusting after your own godson, what would James think?" Poor Sirius had been away for too long, perhaps too long to really see Harry as Harry.

He knew the looks Sirius was giving the boy; it was the same as the ones he used to give their pack leader. Those were fine, but these had to be stopped and stopped now. His fingers tightened upon dog’s jaw; he wouldn’t let him go. What would James think? James… Lover… Friend… James… A twist of pain went into the dog’s heart, he had been telling Harry how much he looked like his father, and he missed James with all of his heart. Perhaps Remus was seeing something he wasn’t, trying as he could, he couldn’t look away now; Remus was holding him making him look at Harry.

"Please…"

"Please what? Let you look away from your sin? Let you have him? He’s not James." Some-how Remus could hear his own bitterness in his words. He had to deal with this alone, he had to deal with the loss of their pack-leader on his own, had to put Lily and James into the cold ground by himself. Yes, there were other people there but they were not of the pack, they were not family, not even Dumbledore was of the pack. "Just let me go!"  
Did he truly want that?

"I won’t let you go, never again Sirius." But he did, he stepped back his eyes trailing over Sirius, "You will come to me after dinner, you will come straight to me, to my bedroom." He knew Sirius didn’t take well to orders, he knew that Sirius wasn’t the kind that liked to be controlled. Yet, something told him that was the old Sirius. He knew that the dog seemed to be confused.

"Harry and I were going to play some wizard chess." Sirius stated plainly, though he wished he hadn’t as he saw the look upon the wolf’s face. Nodding he looked away, not at the window, not at the boy that lived but a spot on the floor, some little dot that he could pretend was very interesting for a few minutes at least.

"You come or I will come and find you," The note in Lupin’s voice warned Black that if he did not show up that something worse then what his old school friend was planning would happen. He was very grateful now that they had to wait almost the whole day for dinner, though it also meant that Remus had time to plan all day.

"Sure...er, I guess."

\--------

 

Dinner had been quiet it seemed that Harry had had some kind of fight with his friends and told Sirius he just wanted to sleep. It disappointed the dog but he knew that he had to break away from the game as well. He nodded to Harry. Yet, the most disturbing thing was that Remus had been watching him though out dinner. Listening to him like he was speaking such distasteful lies.

Even though he did not wish to face the other he moved his way towards the bedroom. It had once belonged to his brother. The one who made the choices he did not. He felt his heart grow cold for just a moment before he knocked upon the door. His knock made it come open. He didn’t see anyone in the room it was dark.

"Remus?"

He called, where was the wolf? Was he hiding? Was this some kind of fucked up game? He stepped into the room; it was cold almost like someone had opened all the windows. Yet, no light flooded the room. A small sliver of fear grew in him, Sirius feared the shadows, feared what hide within them. This was Remus, though, this was friend, and this was the last of his friends who was alive.

Peter. Did not count, for the innocence that was once Peter was gone, the past in which Peter lived with was dead, this was the here and now. The soul survivors of the small group of friends, the pack, was he and Remus.

"I am here Sirius."

"Where are you Remus?" Sirius fought to keep the fear out of his voice; yet it only made it worse, made it sound hoarse and perhaps a bit more fearful then he wanted. He strains his ears to hear anything, his eyes to see in the darkness. There was still nothing, "I can’t see you, Moony."

"You never see me."

"What the hell are you talking about? You’re here everyday, I always see you." What was the loony wolf talking about? He had each morning meal with  
Remus, each lunch, every meal. Remus was always there. He counted on him. Still there was a note in the wolf’s voice that Sirius didn’t pick up before. Try as he might he couldn’t place it. Why was Remus so angry with him?

"Come closer Padfoot." Like a Siren's call he answered the wolf coming forward, the door closed behind him. The door, he heard it click. Sirius trusted Remus, he knew that there had to be a reason for the darkness, for the bitter bite of Remus’ words. He stepped forward, he went forward to find his friend to understand why he was standing in the darkness.

Why he was trying to find Remus in the darkness. He heard it then; a sharp hiss of a spell, then something grabbed him, like hands on the floor pulling his legs apart. Holding him to the floor, before he could grab at what ever was holding him, "Remus... Help me!"

He cried as his arms were pulled skyward almost painfully. He tired to pull away; he tired to remove himself from the hold of what ever it was. It felt like ropes, it felt like chains. His arms ached as he felt his mind run over so many things it could have been. A scream of rage full fear came from his lips. Somehow Death Eaters had got into the house, that had to be the only answer.

Was it Snape? Weakly he cried out again, "Remus..?" He felt warmth behind him a body, it carried the soft sent Remus’ cologne and the earthy sent that was his own. There was nothing said and he tried to turn his head but he found he could not. He heard the sound of cloth being cut, felt something cool against his skin. His clothing was being removed, piece by piece.

"Shhh… Don’t speak." Warm breath bathed his ear, a hot tongue pulled the lobe into an even warmer mouth, he bit back a moan as he the rest of his clothing was removed with a spell. Soon his robes were tatters around his feet. "You want to see don’t you, Sirius, you want to see what you have done wrong. I can show you but for this you must be blind." Cloth was placed about his eyes, as he knew the lights came back up. Remus took in the sight before him, the sight of his friend and soon to be lover held by the magical chains that used to hold him every full moon.

When he was alone, when he cried of the pain that was so new and yet so old. The truth all of his sins, the monster he was or once. But now it was Sirius’ turn to face his sins. His eyes traced over the male’s back only to fall upon the rounded arse. He wonders how tight it would be. His fingers blushed over it.

"Please... Remus."

The way that Sirius was begging was making his wolf cry out to take control. He wanted to tell him that he would make it all better but that was not why he was here. He was here to punish his best friend for the actions he had taken and would yet take. "I’ll give you what you need." He snapped in a tone that would make Severus smile. "I sometimes wonder Sirius why you did not tell me what you knew about Peter, why you just ran into the war with out even telling me!"

Why didn’t you trust me? Was the hidden question, was the need to know. Was the need to fix the pain of the past.

Slap.

His hand came down hard upon the flesh of Sirius’ backside. Hm, he did not like the pain upon his own hand, perhaps something better should be used. He heard the whimper coming from the dog. "There was no time…" Sirius whined like the puppy he was. His hands worked his belt.

"No time?" He hissed as he pulled the leather from around his hips, his pants dropped down slightly resting upon the curve of his hip rather then the top. "And pray do tell why there was no time? James and Lily were already dead. Did you want to make yourself join their number?" To leave me alone forever? To face Harry’s eyes when he asked about the truth? Why didn’t you think?

Remus forced all of this down and away, this night was not about him and the was sound of the belt. For the belt worked a lot better, he loved the sound of it as it slapped against the skin, and the sound that Sirius made as it hit its mark. Oh! The redness upon the skin, the smell of the fear and need that grew in the dog. Oh, as much as the other was whining he was enjoying it.

He knew this of Sirius. " I had to act alone!" The hiss of the belt came down again, slapping the dog around his hips hitting his front just slightly, Remus growled in Sirius’ ear. "Alone? Look where the fuck alone has taken you. It took you," slap, "away from me! IT took you to the gates of hell!" And lift me to burn!

Sirius was crying now not from the pain but for the fact that Remus cared enough to show him all that he had done, the slapping of the belt-whip came down upon his skin again and again. This was the bite of truth, it was showing him the wolf cared for him, perhaps even loved him. This was the hard cold painful truth, and the burning ache as the back of his legs were slapped, and the belt-whip was whipping round to the front, just inches from his aching cock. He was scared of how much all of this was turning him on, how much he needed it.

"Remus…" A sob comes from his lips as his body tries to twist from the next hit; the next painful truth: he too could be forgiven.

"Yes, Padfoot, your crimes are so painful aren’t they?" the belt dropped to the floor as his hands cupped the red heated cheeks, his fingers moving over it. "And after all that you think you would want to be good, follow the rules that have been set down."

Sirius moaned at the touch of the cool hands upon his burning skin. "My poor little puppy." He couldn’t help but smirk at Sirius as the dog rubbed himself into his hands. He loved the feeling of it. "Is this what you dream of Harry doing? Touching you like this? Rubbing you?"

Remus pinches the redden skin, the sharp cry Sirius gave was pleasurable it sent jolts of pleasure right down to his cock. "No."

"Oh, don’t lie to me Sirius." He didn’t want to tell Remus what he thought; he didn’t want to show him that he was indeed enjoying this. That the ideas of having Harry kiss, touch, or fuck him was rather too much of a turn on. It was not only because he looked like James but also because he was Harry, those green piercing eyes sent chills down his back every time he looked into them.

The hands upon his bottom pulled away; there was nothing, not even the sound of the other’s breathing for a while. He was starting to forget what it was like to taste Remus touch when it came again. Was it hours that he stood there, his back side aching from the wolf’s anger, his cock aching for the need to feel the wolf’s soft touch? "So hard aren’t you Sirius." Remus’ voice flooded his ears, burned a path right into his mind.

But he couldn’t tell if it was coming from the front of him or behind, though he thought he heard the sound of clothing being dropped upon the floor, of buttons being un-done and zips slowly being pulled away. "I still wonder if it’s for me or if it’s for Harry."

"For.. For you." His voice sounded so far and so weak in his own ears. He just wanted to be kissed, wanted to be touched. Remus couldn’t keep this game up for forever could he? Sirius just didn’t know what kind of lover the sweet innocent boy turned into; there only had only been one other time. One gentle time when he and James made love to the wolf.

Now, this moment was so different there was pain, there was pleasure, and there was the sound of Remus’ voice. This was far better. "Ah, but look how the sound of Harry’s name makes your cock jump." Remus fingers closed around Sirius’ cock, they started a slow rolling movement over the sensitive skin. "Would you beg him to allow you to come in his cute little teenage mouth? Would you whimper as his tongue slowly licks over the head?"

A sharper pull, nails lightly blushing over the skin. "Would the sight of him on his knees in front of you be too much for your old lustful heart?"

"Yesss…" The dog hissed the answer, hissed it because the pleasure was starting to float to his head and he knew that he would not be able to last much longer if Remus kept up his play with words and the movements on his penis. Yet, the dog was not going to tell him to stop. No, the dirty pleasure of it was just right. Remus narrowed his eyes then slapped Sirius across the chest, his fingernails lightly blushing over the dog’s nipples.

"Bad Dog." It wasn’t a very painful slap, not a slap those muggle fighters used when they fought in the rings on the telly. Just a light air filled slap, just enough to wake the other out of his lustful trance. The puppy let out a whimper, but moved so that he could get as much as he could of the slap upon his hard little nipples. Every touch was filled with pleasure even if it was laced with pain. Sirius was too far gone to notice the difference now.

It was just where Remus wanted him. Something wet pressed against his opening. Something moved slowly in little circles. Something pushed just an inch inside. Sirius wanted more of what ever that something was. It could not be Remus’ cock, nor was it so wet as to be a tongue; perhaps a finger, yes, oh gods, Remus was fingering him getting him ready to be fucked.

"I can just see you allowing your own godson to do this, letting Harry touch you in places that only you would enjoy, would you give him pleasure? Would you drop down upon your knees and scream with delight at the idea of sucking him off?" All Padfoot could do was nod his head; he would like to hold Harry’s hard cock in his mouth, suck upon it until he got a salty white drink. But he was trying not to think of Harry, he was trying to think only of Remus.

Moony, who was working his finger faster, just an inch of missing that wonderful small button inside of his body. The wolf was just giving him a taste. The wolf was playing with him.

The wolf was being bad!

How Sirius loved it. All too soon the finger was taken away, there was no sound but the sound of wet skin upon skin. Sirius thought he would know what was next, he hoped he did. Remus hands got rooted upon his hips. "Bend your knees and lean back to me." The voice was not so strong, it was filled with lust, Sirius was not going to disobey the wolf, and he lowered himself and got reward with the feeling of the head of Remus’ cock pressing inside of him.

The cock moved slowly into him, rubbing against his skin, marking its way. This was the first one he had in 17 years, the first one to take him. It was moving too slowly, it was not moving hard enough, but could he beg for this with out it sounding like an order? If he yelled for Remus to move more would he get another slap or smack across his bottom? "Please…"

Remus let his head drop to Sirius’ shoulder, the heat around his prick was almost too much, it was almost like being thrown into hell fire. He heard the whimper call of need. He felt Sirius hips press back upon him. He just wasn’t too sure if he could move. He made a side note to tie Sirius to the bed next time. Mm. He hoped there would be a next time.

"Yes, my pet?" His voice sounded odd in his ears, perhaps because he only wanted to hear the panting and moaning of the other.

"More." Sirius sounded like a child who was demanded more sweets. He sounded so spoiled, so needy in that one small word. Remus almost didn’t want to move, wanted to make him want it more, but that would deny Remus of his pleasure and that was not going to happen. So, the wolf pushed in slower enjoying the tightness around him, a moan-like howl dripped from his lips as his nails cut into the soft skin of Sirius’ hips. Pleasure is a blind kind of joy, it’s the kind that can over power and take all control away, it’s the kind that can send someone into fits of screaming or make someone bite their lip clean off.

For the two, for Sirius and Remus it was the kind of pleasure that neither of them had felt for such a long time. Remus knew he had to keep it careful. He did not want to harm his lover in this way, but the dance the dog’s hips were doing back to his own was too much. He wanted to take it all; he wanted to give everything. He knew in this moment that he could have found another way to give Sirius a talking to, he could have spoken to Dumbledore, he could have spoken to Molly and Arthur but no he had taken it into his own hands.

He wanted to show Sirius that he did not need to lust after Harry, he did not need to try and recapture James, he didn’t need to live in the past. The wolf’s forehead rested upon Sirius’ shoulder, his mouth sucking upon the skin there. His teeth carefully running over the flesh. He wanted to bite, to give Sirius his mark but never would he dare.

For he feared what would come if he were to bite someone he loved. Perhaps it wouldn’t pass the curse in this form but he would never take that risk. For Sirius this moment was all he ever wanted. He perhaps knew something like this would happen. Perhaps he had wished for it, the only thing he truly knew was that it felt right, it was what he used to dream for, call out for alone in the darkness. There was no darkness here even if he was blindfolded. Even if he was helpless he was not scared. Remus was here; Moony would keep him safe.

This man was now a part of his soul. It was only right that they would come together. Maybe to remember, maybe to forget pain and start anew. As the teeth gently brush over his skin, tears of pleasure leaked down his face, tears of pleasure as he finally allowed himself to come, finally allowed himself to let go for Remus. His fingers curled around the ropes that felt like silk under his fingers. The arms that came around his chest holding him to Remus as the other took his pleasure as well, the whisper of breath upon his skin.

tongue licking away salty sweat, was all part of the pleasure. Remus carefully removed himself from the other, "Can you stand? I am going to untie you now, my lovely pup." His voice was mixed with the pleasure and love poured from his lips as he carefully ran his nails down Sirius’ back.

The dog’s backside did not appear to be so red. Picking up his wand he pointed it a few of the candles light them, Sirius picked up the sound of a spell and noted that light had been turned on. He whimpered a bit as he felt the wolf remove himself. He did not wish that, he wanted him to stay longer. He slowly straightened with a nod. He could stand but he didn’t know for how long. The arms that were around him slowly slipped away. He let out a small whimper, "Remus?" What would this mean now?

Would Remus leave him alone now? Was this just a one-night stand? The ropes let his arms drop to his side; he didn’t even notice how stiff his arms were until they were laid down. He felt the ropes drop around his feet. He didn’t move, scared that if he did he would find himself waking up from some dream. Fingers around the blind fold slowly removed it. His eyes meet the wolf’s; his soul was met in the other’s. "I won’t leave you, Sirius, to be alone."

\----------

Now, crouched and naked, waiting for a Remus that's over an hour late, Sirius lets out a small moan as he recalls the sweet memory; they had spent the rest of that night talking, making love, and talking again. He doubts that they got any sleep. Remus was scared he went too far, but Sirius confessed that he wanted more. That he enjoyed the sweet pain and pleasure only the wolf could give to him.

He also said he wanted it only from him, that his desires and looks were only dreams he would never have. They spoke of rules, and a safe word was made: ‘Snape’ for he did not think he would moan that word, that name. For in all of their fantasies about Severus he was 'Severus' and not Snape.

Remus made him tell him each sexual desire he had had. The wolf was the kind of lover that gave all he could, and never once in the 6 months they have been together has Sirius whispered their safe word. He hasn't needed to. He just wishes he knew why Remus was so late, the wolf, his master had said he was going to reward him for being such a good puppy, but this was not a reward, but something cruel.

His eyes track over his aching part, his fingers tied harder behind his back. He tilts his head as he thinks he hears something. Was that Remus’ voice whispering the pass code? It sounds like him; the door opens and Sirius let his body go back to the less relaxed stance. He feels the warmth of a body so close to him.

He lets his head drop down to nuzzle the person in front of him. His eyes are closed. He feels the person go stiff. Is Remus angry with him? Why doesn't he pet him like normal in greeting? He hears the door close, "Ah, Sirius I have a gift for you, my puppy." Sirius frowns why does it sound like Remus is a long way away? "Sirius look up." Sirius opens his eyes and focuses on the person standing before him. He takes a deep breath as he sees the dark wild hair, the bright green eyes behind the glasses; Remus was standing, smiling, just behind him.

"Harry…" Sirius whispers He notices the odd lustful look upon his godson’s eyes, he notices the odd shape of Harry’s clothing. It looked like the boy was having a bit too much fun; perhaps that is why Remus was late? Lustful ideas raced though the mind of the dog, he let out a small whimper as Remus’ hand came down gently to run though his hair.

"Happy birthday, Sirius."


End file.
